"My ministry has a policy that I do not dine alone with a woman, even in very public settings."6/30/2014 "Thank you for hosting me for lunch after chapel. I think your suggestion for others to join us for lunch is very good. My ministry has a policy that I do not dine alone with a woman even in very public settings (i.e. university cafeteria). Perhaps {male Professor so-and-so} could join us or some other male staff member or students."
This is a real excerpt from an email I received about 7 months ago. I journaled my response at that time. Below you will read that response, plus a poem follow-up that I recently wrote about it. Perhaps this speaker is so awesome and famous that secret Christian paparazzi stalk him and try to take his picture sitting across a cafeteria table from a female. That would really make the news, wouldn't it? I'm sure people would note the napkin dispensers, cafeteria plates, and crowds of university students around, and say, wow, that speaker is clearly an immoral man. If he's not careful, people might think he's going to have sex with this female right there on top of the cafeteria table in plain sight of the hundred or so people present. Yeah, he's right, I had better arrange a male to join me. Yeah, because if a male is sitting right next to us, as opposed to several seats or a table away, then we'll probably have enough accountability present not to jump each other's bones. Yeah, because male Christian leaders/speakers never get tempted by other men, so there is no need for a policy about not dining in a cafeteria "alone" (which actually isn't even possible) with another man. Yeah, there's definitely no need for that because no one would ever think him capable of homoerotic thoughts or actions. Men--they can be trusted. The female, of course, cannot be trusted. By nature she must be a temptress, capable of working her sexual magic across the cafeteria tables to the undoing of the man. And the man, of course, must be completely unable to control himself, a weakling unable to resist her powerfully sexual signals being sent through the barrier of the napkin dispenser. The above paragraph marks the publishable end of my original reaction to this offensive email. Below is the poem format response I wrote just a couple weeks ago. Enjoy. Am I Acceptable Now? "My ministry has a policy that I do not dine alone with a woman, even in very public settings." What if I'm 215 poounds instead of 115... Am I acceptable now? What if both my breasts are gone from a double mastectomy... Am I acceptable now? What if my vagina is nearly sewn shut and my clitoris is cut off... Am I acceptable now? What if I am covered with a black cloth from head to toe so you cannot see my shape nor my skin... Am I acceptable now? What if my face is burned from acid so I appear grotesque to you... Am I acceptable now? I am 5 feet 7 inches tall, blonde-haired, blue-eyed, dimpled, 115 pounds, and don a pair of 30 DDs. I am not dangerous. I am not a temptress. I am acceptable. I am safe. Get a hold of yourself, man, and have a professional lunch with me in a very public place.
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Valerie GeerWriter. Women's activist. Theologian. Providing authentic reflections from a female perspective. Archives
March 2016
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