In an ideal world, humans would not objectify humans for any reason.
We do not live in an ideal world. I was at Winco, pushing my shopping cart and looking for an open register so I could checkout with my groceries. That’s when I saw him checking me out. He was an adult male, approximately my age, and as I walked by him with my cart, he stared. Up and down he looked at me. With sex in his eyes, he took in my shape. Whether or not he was a boobs or ass man, I’m not sure, because he spent time on both. My strategy was to turn my head and look at him assertively so that he would feel caught and embarrassed. He, then, was supposed to look away and act like he hadn’t been looking, ashamed of himself. This is the social self-defense dance that I felt compelled to join. I certainly was not going to let him get away with wielding his lustful gaze around Winco like a sword intent on slicing apart humanity and sexuality. No way. But he didn’t look away. My strategy failed. I executed my plan, but he did not look away. Instead, he squared up and asserted his lustful gaze even more, cracking a sly, perverted smile. Instead of feeling ashamed of himself, he felt empowered. He got off on the fact that I disapproved of his sexualized looks. And he wanted me to know it. He stared harder, directly looking my body up and down. And so I looked away. I swore under my breath at him. My heart raced with fear and rage. If he will rape me with his eyes in Winco, what will he do to me if he gets me isolated? I know the answer to that question. I know it far too well. And so I join a checkout line as far away from him as possible, and I get the hell out of Winco as fast as I can, all the while looking over my shoulder as I make my way through the parking lot and into my car, where I promptly close the door and press the auto-lock button. Because he did not look away.
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Valerie GeerWriter. Women's activist. Theologian. Providing authentic reflections from a female perspective. Archives
March 2016
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